Shakira's Deepest Secrets

i gained 3kg and i have one big fat as*!! Yay, i know i suppose to be happy about it because ive been waiting (for years) to break the 50kg limit. Now im a proud 53kg-ian *evil laugh* Well, actually ive been experimenting with my body again. I just want to know how fast i can gain weight if i stop working out ( regularly) Ive been eating ALOT lately and sometimes i ate lunch twice or pretty late dinner. and today, i realise this is not the life i wanted I do enjoy eating all the junk ( junk in my definition is something not healthy like fried food, meaty , fatty stuff ect.  ) but i hate the guilty feeling after ive consume all the stuff. i feel like a fat-unattractive-flabby-woobly-shakira . I just give myself 3 weeks & im giving up the junk stuff... im back with grill stuff and those weird fruits veggie combinations i gotta work my as* out to get back my 6 packs that already turn into 1.. hahaha to my pants, dont worry.... you'll snuggle with me soon. It a fu...

It's so real. You are real. You touch my face and all the pain gone.  You hold my hand and kiss me on the forehead. Whisper to my ear how much you love me.  You hold me close to your body, I could feel your warm breath on my skin.   You look right into my eyes. Without you saying a word I know how much you love me.. There is no words but all of the loving gestures .  And there is a soft music playing on the background .  Your hand at my hips, and we started moving slowly following the rhythm. You are smiling at me. Your eyes still lock to mine.  Im weak.  I want to hold you tighter  I don't want to lose you.  But I don't know you You are not the familiar face ive seen before  But I think I'm falling for you. I hate the fact that I gonna wake up and will forget your face   I wanna stay with you  I wanna be here with you  I wanna be in your arms  But I know this is mere a dream  The feeling is temporary  Someh...

  well well well here I am today. Writing about Tinder  wait, to those yang still jakun pasal tinder, Lemme explain  Tinder is an App to meet people.  when you see people you like ( or rasa2 ngam je) swipe to the right (like) da kalau both party swipe to the right  ITS A MATCH  then korang boleh la start bersembang like tomorrow never end   gittew la tinder minder ni.  yes, yes,  i know, you all will say  "only desperate people will be on Tinder"  im partly agree with your opinion  because I was desperate too at one time. desperate to look for a new friend and who knows things will develop into something unimaginable  i was really optimistic about this tinder thingy.  for me, if im sincere people will be sincere to me too.  well, i was almost wrong (emphasis : Almost)  em, i met few reasonably good people and some are just want to take advantage on peop...

Selamat pagi uols ...  Semalam I had a conversation with a friend pasal perempuan merokok ....  No matter how hot the girl is, he will turned off once she lit a cigarette ...  As if all the good things in that girl gone, just because she is a smoker...  Em...  At first I thought it's another gender bias "discussion". As usual, I'll back up la kaum sejenis (even im not a smoker pun). I asked him, why men smoke and still consider as a good person, while when a  girl smoke, automatically she is bad, ?! Maybe when you look at the girl smoking, first thing that comes in your mind is : perempuan liar ni...  For me it's not fair to judge a person based on the exterior.  I met few acquaintances who happen to be a smoker (pompuan) and they are very decent people. They smoke for the same reason as why men smoke... Sebab nak release stress.. They are not perempuan liar yang duk clubbing all the time . They are professional people.  Kalu tengok kat negar...

Introvert : Contrary to what most people think, an introvert is not simply a person who is shy. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. and yes, im an introvert person. I may seem quite a chatty person.... but actually i am not. Most of my words are stuck in my thought and never come out. But, when Im getting excited or too nervous i can continue to speak (non stop) using my gibberish language . Real messy sentence with the choices of weird words. So, for those who just getting to know me, I hope i didnt make you think im having some sort of language difficulties.... Im totally understand what you are saying, you dont have to speak to me in slow mo like im a retard bitch.. (-_____-) Tell you what, Im not open myself to many people. So, if im being open with you, means you are special to me. understand? Im a listener.... People may find me boring because I'll be in the room with the crowds ...

I think I've spending too much time on romantic novels and pleasing people for the past few years .(-___-)  And now when the people leave me, I have nothing else to do... Kosong kosong kosong... That is why I'm keeping myself busy with workouts & classes... But somehow, I'll still be lonely especially on weekends 😓  (Orang lain dating ngan bf/gf, iols Dating ngan kain baju je, paling gempak pun dengan katil ~~ loser!!) but yeah....,Im not the-hang-out-at-the-mall-kinda-girl. I would prefer to be at the park or being a slug at home ..so, im ok with it.... unless if someone ask me out... But I guess that someone is still far far away from me .... Huuuuu...... Emm... I rest my case (~_____~)  Pfftt  Kembali ke topik asal.  Im always fascinated by the experts playing online game (especially DotA)  and , I am actually reading FF walktrough like im reading some sort of "erotic" novel...haha...Ok, weirdo I tried strategy game be...

Please beware of penggunaan bahasa ganu yang extreme.... thanks :)  Sebab tadi tetiba rasa nak throw back!! tambah pulek si Nobita text iols... maigod.... rasa cam nak pack bag... balik kapong terus.... besenye kalu dulu dulu otak berserabut memang iols melepak kat tepian pantai.... normally, bespren iols memang wajib ikut hokey... teman maki... teman gelak... teman pow beli keppok... teman amik gambo....teman plekong slipa... tapi paling penting dia la driver sejati abadi.... barape kali la jantung nak cabbut sebab dia wat drift (-__-) dulu pun dia hok ngajo bawok kete.... pastu ajo wat drift... haih... ilmu sesat mung ni pis!! apa kan daya, pakai auto... memang ilmu mu sia sia la pis... hahahaha iols dok tau la kenape tapi apis la satu satu kawan yang tahu hampir semua rahsia iols. Sangat senang nk curah ke dia... pastu dia duk tadoh (tadah) je telinga dia... now im wondering, dulu dia dengo ke dok?? ke wat wat (buat buat) dengo je.... tapi otok tah kelain .... hahah...

My only intention is to find new friends...  Someone I can hangout with...  Someone I can share my humor..  Someone I can share my biggest secrets..  I met few along the way...  And also a special someone...  But somehow, I feel things happening too fast & I couldn't digest it properly...  Things become little bit complicated as im desperately wanting someone to fill in my emptiness. Im letting myself to fall into the "pit" and now I'm having sort of trouble to come out of it..  The "past" still lingering around ... Giving me hard time for me to move on...  How I wish I could run as fast as I could.. So that no one could get hold of my heart....  I want to hide im the deep forest... So that no one will ever find me...  I know the fact that im too fragile...  Too broken  Too hoping for some sort of miracle. But i want to be hold... I want to be found.. Shakira sulong .... 

Selesai berjemaah tadi,  Hati Aku terdetik....  Betapa Aku rindu berjemaah bersama...  Selepas sekian lama, Aku berdiri di belakang insan yang teramat Aku kagum, insan yang kuat menjadi khalifah membimbing Kami makmun yang banyak  terpesong....  Setiap takbir, setiap ruku' , setiap sujud... Aku ikut lemah... Tiap tutur bacaan, hatiku bergetar hebat... Rasa sesak dengan sebak....  Aku terang terang bukan anak solehah... Pernah jauh terpesong, malah masih berkayuh membetul langkah. Masih juga terpatah gayung...  Khalifah itu, tak pernah jemu.... Mengajak... Cara kasar, cara lembut...  Aku pemberontak....  Aku menolak yang hak.. Mencari yang batil...  Aku masih banyak lopong lopong di dada... Khalifah itu, masih tak putus doanya... Allah maha hebat, dibuka hati Aku yang asalnya terkatup rapat... Diberi ruang untuk Aku tersedar....  Namun, selebihnya bergantung pada Aku...  Kuat lemah semua atas bahu Aku Aku kagum dengan khalifah i...

Im suck at giving present. sebenarnye aku duk jenuh fikir nak bagi hadiah apa untuk Izzati. Besday dia in 2 days & being a ignorant aunty, aku lupa nak pikir awal awal. Actually, since she is so into this loomband thingy, aku da chop nak beli satu set mega untuk dia... tapi, mami da beli dulu la pulop!! aaaaahhhh..... Menyesal bagitau mami, patutnye buat diam diam je aritu... tup tup mami bagitau ... da siap beli & balut... Tensen!!  (-__-) so, sekarang duk mengushar.... and suddenly i found these : untuk sesiapa yang kuat kentut grow your own boyfriend And i love to eat marshmallow (-__________-) Hahaha... revenge !! kah kah kah (gelak setan) ... ok, its not funny ok, da tersimpang jauh dari pressie for 8 years old girl .... ni da masuk page "pressie for women".. hahahaha.... rambang mata la tengok online... and memang dah tak sempat nak beli pun. aaaa.... kena g shopping mall jugak esok.... ya Ampun...

Traffic Jem scenarios:  1. Semua orang nak potong tepi  2. Semua orang tak bagi potong  3. Semua orang drive rapat rapat  4. Semua orang muka stress  Where is the courtesy ???  Habuk pun tadak...  Semua orang jadi selfish  Semua orang nak cepat  Cuba bayangkan :  Semua orang Duk dalam lane masing masing Semua orang bagi signal bila nak masuk  Senua orang bagi jalan bila orang lain nak masuk ... Bukan rugi pun bagi satu or dua kete masuk depan ....  Emmm.... Aku tau Je semua orang da lambat ... Semua orang rushing ... Aku pun sama...  Tapi that's doesn't mean korang Kena jadi kurang ajar. Tak perlu la nk tunjuk samseng kucing ...  Semua orang ada tempat dituju Apa salahnya Kalu ikut sahaja aturan diberi ?  Tak perlu terlompat lompat nak potong agar dapat kedepan... BuKan jauh beza pun... Masih Je Aku nampak kelibat Kereta kamu.  Kita semua sudahlah bersesak, tambah pula kamu yang sombong ... Bertambahlah kusu...

Dear fellow friends, i would like to apologize for some negative / emotionally posts  for the past few days ( or even in next few days) im currently in a really "shaking" state. if you really feel that im such a nuisance, such a cry baby or worth nothing for you. please steer away from me. lost after lost.... its like  a never ending repetition. First, i lost the man I dearly love... im still struggling to get over him. the loneliness i feel every night.. i wonder if someone could fill in the emptiness. I dont know if that someone would love me for who i am. im too fragile . im to broken. can someone come and fix me? iam desperately hoping that you could be the one. but im sorry if you dont feel the same . just be honest with me. leave if you feel im too much drama to you life. i would (i hope) cope with another lost ( i guess) then , my sister miscarriage... this is very disturbing as i know so much how it feel to lose something you expecting so much. Me & my s...

expectation  is  the  mother  of  heart breaks  why i keep on doing this to myself?  why?  didnt i deserve to feel happy ?? loved??  what is wrong by being honest?? Im not questioning Allah's plan. I am not but sometimes, i feel disappointed and feel like wanna give up i wanna give up  on people that keep hurting me  i wanna give up hoping things will be ok  i wanna give up on love... trust... and everything "magical"  you are not real... your feeling towards me are not real...  you are just my stupid expectation that will never be a reality  i dont hate you..l i just hate myself so bad !!  so, im taking a step back.  i'll rise up the "wall" again. so that you couldnt see me ... and you cant hurt me anymore  today is not the day im feeling great about myself  Shakira  ...

hello  sorry la tittle da macam amazing spiderman pulop... but seriously peeps, when was the last time you feel great about yourself??  Kalu ada sesape puji aku, pada dasarnye, reaction aku "aww... thanks " and senyum melebar, pastu buat buat pandang tempat lain ~~ ( -.-) ~~  PADAHAL, waktu tu, sebenarnye  semua lubang da kembang kempis secara automatic  (-..-) (-..-) Bila da balik rumah,  duduk hadap dinding and pikir, celah mana amazing aku?  ke saje je propaganda manusia??  honestly, im just a plain Shakira  Selalu je buat benda mengarut  selalu tetiba awkward tak bertempat  selalu tetiba hilang point nak cakap apa and end up cakap benda jumping jumping   (-____-") Nak jadi cerita, someone tanya aku : " tell me, how amazing you are Shakira"   dah !, stone aku nak menjawab.  honestly, that moment aku memang panas giler babeng  aku cam xde jawapan lan...

sometimes i woke up in the middle of the night  thinking  thinking what if I stay will i have a better sleep?  will he hugs me and hush away all my bad dreams ?  will he kiss me and tell me everything will be fine?  will he fight for me again?  sometimes  i ask myself , is this the life i want to live in?  bad dreams, sleepless nights , anxiety , worry , insecurity i am struggling to fight them.  sometimes I knock them off.  but sometimes, i just let them win for one reason  to feel the pain. pain means i still love you. the only feeling i should let go  but i refuse to do so feeling that consume me little by little.  You think, if i stay,  things will be better or worst?   i dont know.  ive not given any option to choose  the only option is to move on  i dont know if this is the right thing or n...

Hello readers ...  Assalamualaikum ( theeee he he ... sopan sikit)  pernah dengar GMO ? ape benda GMO??  tambah L kat blakang da jadi Gomol -..- wadehek !!  *LOL* GMO tu singkatan untuk Genetically Modified organism  yes yes, i know bunyi dia langsung tak catchy cam gomol tu... and uols will pikir  "dah kenape nak belajar sal organism pulak"  organism ok... not orgasm  (-___-)  and yes memang tak fun pun  cuma tonight terasa nak share skit sal GMO nih.  sebab sharing is caring  *gittew* (flippin' my hair)  with the help of uncle wiki, this is what GMO is all about ( in summary ) A genetically modified organism ( GMO ) is an organism whose genetic material has been altered using genetic engineering techniques. Organisms that have been genetically modified include micro-organisms such as bacteria and yeast, insects, plants, fish, and mammals. GMOs are the source of genetically...

Hi You... yes you la. thanks for making my days no longer boring  thanks for making me feel berbunga-bunga macam bunga sakura thanks for making me realize that Im just ordinary human  that deserve to be loved thanks for making me feel "alive" thanks for making me feel so wonderful  thanks for always remind me that im not alone  (Allah with us, and you are with me)  thanks for allowing me to grow and blossom thanks for accepting me for who i am thanks for loving me unconditionally thanks for every single thing you've done  thanks for all the advises and thoughts  above all, thank you for being part of my life  looking forward to what future may bring for us  May Allah show us HIS mercy & Love  Love, Shakira Sulong Appreciation to : my family, my inlaws,  my friends, acquaintances and also strangers I met along the way   :) . Love is something i ...

 MENTAL BLOCK !! . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .   bye   Shakira sulong 

Hello readers... Miss me? Miss me?? I miss you!!!  Sorry for being invincible... Bz sangat la lately... Busy with works & some personal stuff .... well, everything is over for me...  *sigh*  Ya ampun, this blog da berkulat kulat. draft da berjela jela.. semua takat 5 patah perkataan je -..- *sapu sapu* *lap lap* *gosok gosok* ok, done with cleaning , nak citer sikit pasal stereotype nanti ada yang tanya, stereotype tu apa?? adik beradik sellotape ke?? paleotok mung! Stereotype is thought that can be adopted about specific types of individuals or certain ways of doing things. or senang citer, perkara kebiasaan pada kita. & benda tu xsemestinye betul tapi sebab da biasa, semua orang sebulat suara menerima & bila ada sape2 yang keluar dari "kebiasaan" tu dianggap pelik or ganjil or tak geng -.- actually iols paling menyampah dengan sterotype2 mengarut ni.  contoh : pink hanya untuk perempuan.  biru or kaler gelap lain untuk lel...

hello makcik pakcik sekalian  sorry sangat sangat as im so freaking busy lately la Alhamdulillah i just secured 1 semi-big project in one of the private hospital in KL  Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah . Alhamdulillah  bersyukur sangat2 tapi dalam kegembiraan, ada sedikit kegusaaaran mana taknye, this is my first and tetiba terus semi-big project.  nervous iols tau. Since my principle semua bersetongkol kat Denmark, maka terpasala stay up lewat semata mata nak berkomunikasi dengan mereka disana  adoi.. tapi best sebab conference ngan diorg pakai baju tido, kaki atas meja... hahaha  memang kerja kerja bermula di waktu malam saje :(  hasilnye, mata yang sebengkak panda  But working with Danish is fun  they are one of the supportive colleague i ever had  serious and fun at the same time   tambah tambah memasing mata biru, mata ijau oh mai gaouuuddd   pandangan menusuk kalbu gitt...

hi uols  jujurnye, kak bedah menyampah kat orang2 yang cepat sentap ni  mesti korang nak kata  "alah, dia pun sentap je memanjang"  eh, hello 911 sikit eh...  iols tak main la sentap sentap ni... kalu marah, tampo je terus... gittew  sentapan kak bedah tu biasanya hanya lakon layar saje...  pompuan suci jarang sentap... opps kekdahnye gini..  kak bedah da beberapa kali encounter ngan orang sentap ni. da macam macam jenis sentapan  yang paling tak bole blah, bila ada penyentap layan gambar kak bedah yang hot ni tersentap da la masuk tak mintak izin, nak menyentap pulak...  da sentap, mula meracau macam kena rasuk hantu raya  haih, ni semua keje budak budak hingus gelembung gelembung je takut dengan bayang bayang sendiri mungkin kena repeat tadika bagi otak lurus sikit  ops, sorry kalu ada yang tersentap...  sebenarnye,  bukan nak cakap sal pompuan sentap tu...  ni...