the broken ones

Dear fellow friends,

i would like to apologize for some negative / emotionally posts  for the past few days ( or even in next few days)

im currently in a really "shaking" state. if you really feel that im such a nuisance, such a cry baby or worth nothing for you. please steer away from me.

lost after lost.... its like  a never ending repetition.

First, i lost the man I dearly love... im still struggling to get over him. the loneliness i feel every night.. i wonder if someone could fill in the emptiness. I dont know if that someone would love me for who i am. im too fragile . im to broken. can someone come and fix me? iam desperately hoping that you could be the one. but im sorry if you dont feel the same . just be honest with me. leave if you feel im too much drama to you life. i would (i hope) cope with another lost ( i guess)

then , my sister miscarriage... this is very disturbing as i know so much how it feel to lose something you expecting so much. Me & my sis might have some issue going on between us but no matter what, she is still my deary sister. i still feel her pain of losing... i grief for her. i dont know if this will bring us closer or set us apart. but no matter what, till my last breath she is still my sister, insyaAllah until Jannah.


now,  Abg long (along's husband) is leaving us to meet his Creator. To meet Allah.(Al-Fatihah ).
Subhanallah, i just couldnt stop crying whenever i think of Abg Long. He is like a brother that i never had. the soft, loving brother. He called me sometimes or texted me asking if im doing OK after the separation. He texted me last week telling me that hes taking izzati to watch Ribbit and he ask me to plan some makan makan. i was too busy then... i couldn't make time for him.. ...
thats i'll regret the most. Abang long.. you are a nice man.. Allah sayang abg long, sebab tu dia amik abg long awal dari kami. Subhanallah, Ra percaya Abg long antara yang dilindungi Allah. You were smiling and your face is glowing as if youre just sleeping calmly... the most beautiful person ive met.
I'll feel the lost... forever.


when im almost getting myself strong, things happen to break me.

i know things happen for a divine reason
but sometimes, i just feel so tired and i really need a break from getting hurt.


im trying to open up my heart to you. but somehow, i feel im doing it too soon. honestly my heart beating fast whenever i have a slight thought of you. they say that im crazy. but im just being honest with my feeling. im ready for you. but i think ive push it too far. i want you to be by my side all the time but i dont think that is rational. im sorry to put you in the mess. im sorry if im too expressive with my feelings. im sorry for who i am.

so, if you ask me if im ok or not. Superficially i am OK... but im more than superficial.
please, if you think there is no future for us. steer away from me. i'll hurt... i'll cried.. but its far better than you getting hurt.

i believe each and every one of us looking for a security in life.
but i think im doom with insecurity in life.


how much i wanted to be with you. im sorry im too broken for you.


the broken ones
Shakira Sulong

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