Showing posts from 2015

LGBT : The Rainbows :)

first and foremost, you need to understand that  Im not a homosexual !  Whatever written here is solely how i feel about homosexual as a person  I am not trying to brainwash you guys or trying to imply anything here  As much as i know how sensitive this issue to our community (especially to Malay) , I still feel that you all need to at least try to understand what make them who they are.  I also aware that Islam disapprove homosexual. but for few minutes, just try to see this issue as a human  and remember, only Allah / God can judge us & decide if we are a sinner or not  so please, for a moment read this with an open heart 
As some of you may notice, FB was flooded with rainbows color for the past few weeks.  For some reasons, people start talking about LGBT, human rights, god wrath and bla bla ...  before I go any further,  LBGT is an initialism that stand for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender  and  the rainbow flag  represents the diversity of gays and lesbians a…

jaga hati

Hello readers...

Its has been awhile since my last post. I have list of drafts waiting to be published, but i feel most of it way too provocative ... maybe the time is not right... or I maybe i just want to jaga hati  some people.

Speaking of  jaga hati , I still remember years ago, when I told my parents that im going to marry a Chinese, they freak out & for some reasons they took me to see an ustaz ( honestly i still dont fully understand the reason until today- to soften my stubborn head , perhaps ). At that point of time, im expecting him to say "you are  a sinner, need to bertaubat  & bla bla bla...." but hewhom never met me before , look me into the eyes and told me that I have a very soft heart & easily feel kesian for others. He told me that this could be my ultimate weakness & also can be my greatest strength.

Well being a softhearted person, im very vulnerable.
From the outside, I portray a strong-dont-give-a-damn-kind-of-girl. but deep inside im ac…


Life is the existence of an individual human being
life is the prove that we are living in this world.

being out of life means that you are dead


What life holds for you??

I woke up with swollen eyes
my head pinned to my pillow with throbbing pain
unable to move my limbs
and my heart arch so bad
I was so devastated with life
life has been so unfair to me
I have giving up living

I could not see the purpose of me living in this world anymore
so, i took the most foolish act
to get out of life

i still remember that feeling
I closed my eyes, the pain has gone, my head became so quiet and the only sound i heard was my own heartbeats, beating slowly
calming but destructive
and somehow i realize that i still need "life"
life never reject me

i was the one who did not understand life
that day, life taught me the most important lesson : stay alive

from that moment, I see life differently
if you ask me what is life means for me ,
my answer would be :

Life is magic
Life is …

i hate my family ....

Sape je yang tak pernah benci family sendiri??

Dulu dulu, masa kecik... main sampai lupa nak balik rumah, mak mak kita berhangkut rotan panggil kita balik... dan dan tu jugak la rotan berbirat kat kaki....  apa yang korang pikir time tu??  aku benci mak !
Pastu, bila dah besar sikit, dah pandai nak kenyit kenyit mata, gayut kat phone sampai pagi... akhir bulan, bapak korang tengok bill telefon, mengucap panjang dia... terus capai rotan, piiiaaap! kena lagi berbirat kat kaki... apa korang pikir?? aku benci abah ! 
masa tu, hingus masih bertempek kat hidung, gelembung gelembung .... mata bengkak sebesar alam sebab nangis macam gila.  dalam hati pada masa tu : 
"Benci lah!! kenapa aku lahir dalam keluarga ni ??!" "Ayah / Mak orang lain tak pun macam ni !" "Diorang ni memang tak sayang aku! "  "Diorang tak pernah nak memahami aku !!" 
duk ulang ulang je benda benda ni dalam hati... sampai termimpi mimpi.... 
Lama lama kata kata tu jadi sebati.  hat…

an open letter to her


Im sorry if i hurt your feeling when you read this letter. I wish i could meet you in person, and tell you my feeling right now. However, we both know its really impossible ( especially for you)  I think you know me very well from  now, My ex-husband cheat on me with you. The funny thing was, we have met once and you knew that he was a married man but you were insisted to hold on to your "relationship" 
I know that finally you are getting married pretty soon with the man you dearly love. Well, I could say congratulation for your win but I'll say Thank You instead. 
I know all of your family, friends and you yourself will think that I hate you so much because of what you did to me, but I never hate you. Im thankful for what you did to me 
Thank You for setting me free. Thank you for saving me a future full of pain and lies. Thank you for showing his true colors through your joint actions 
Thank you for opening my future again, making me realize that i still have…

Panas engine Kete.. Perlu ke bang??

Hello uols, how are you... sorry la, iols sangat busy lately. Banyak sangat benda terjadi, sampaikan nak makan nasi pun tak berapa sempat.... gitteew
entry ni pun dah berkarat dalam draft... huhuhuhu

Actually, hari ni iols terasa nak cakap sal Panas engine kenderaan...
tak kesah lah ape jenis kenderaan anda, kete ke, moto ke , lori ke, bas ke, helikopter ke, kapal selam ke.... apa saje lah yang ber-engine.

Routine panas engine ni dah consider routine wajib bagi golongan jejantan terutamanya .... pompuan plak mostly terpaksa buat sbb selalu je kene bebel ngan jejantan sebab tak panas engine kete... kan kan kan
even dengan masa kecemasan pun sempat lagi nak panaskan engin kete.... dapat 3 minit pun cukup... katanyeeee... demi sayang engine katanyeeee.....

Dah kenape ckp sal kete pulop ni haaa....
sebenornye , iols ada sahabat yang satu hari pun x pernah miss nak panaskan engine kete... his rules are, pagi pagi kena panas engine, siap letak time limit, pastu kena gauge turun sampai no 1.…


Who sleeps in bed next to you?
Well, most of the time i sleep alone. Some other time Oreo or Vanilla will snuggle with me. Well, im looking forward to sleep with my own "Channing Tatum" soon :) 

Have you ever lied to a teacher to get out of a deadline?
Oh my .. oh my... We all are guilty to do this when we were kids . I did it all the time especially on my BM Essay. Setahun sekali baru hantar... hahaha 

What kind of books do you read?
umm.... Im in love with Jodi Picoult ! I love her writing style, her story and her knowledge. I like the way she narrate the story, so smooth, so convincing and real. 
Actually, i read almost everything but don't fancy horror genre . Because im a chicken.. hahahahaa

Best day of the week?
Oh..i love Saturday & Sunday but I love other days as well ( as long the other days are called HOLIDAY..hahaha ) 
i love weekend, because that the only time i could spend some time with him :) 

What's really creepy?
Hurm... Stalker ?? 

Who is your celebrity cru…

its too late .....

I'm holdin' on your rope, Got me ten feet off the ground. And I'm hearin' what you say, But I just can't make a sound. You tell me that you need me, Then you go and cut me down. But wait. You tell me that you're sorry, Didn't think I'd turn around. And say.

That it's too late to apologize. It's too late. I said it's too late to apologize. It's too late. Too late, oh uh

I'd take another chance, Take a fall, take a shot for you. I need you like a heart needs a beat, But it's nothin' new, yeah! I loved you with a fire red, Now it's turnin' blue.
And you say. Sorry, like an angel Heaven let me think was you. But I'm afraid.

It's too late to apologize. It's too late. I said it's too late to apologize. It's too late. Whoa!

It's too late to apologize. It's too late. I said it's too late to apologize. It's too late.
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah! I said it's too late to apologize, yeah! I'm holdin' o…

The impossible

i cried watching this movie !!!! 

yes yes , i know its was hit 2 years ago...  bese la, iols not into mainstream thingy.  bila semua dah sejuk beku baru la iols gigih mencari *ayat penyedap rasa supaya x nmpak loser sangat* 
actually plan nak tgk into the woods , half way through the movie, cam boring tahap gaban  terus tukar plan tgk the impossible nih 
maigowd !! sedih hokey.  pembuakkan emosi yang bercampur aduk  kejap nangis, kejap gelak, kejap jerit , kejap lompat2  memang penuh emosi 
iols baca review, citer ni based on the true story  almost all event dlm movie nie based on the real thing that happened to the family 
pas dah tgk citer tu,  iols pikir camne la kalu benda tu happen kat iols or to my family or my close friends?? will i be as strong as Maria ?? 
entah iols dah give up 
honestly, im not strong as you all think  im a jello inside 
I dont know how long i would be able to hold on &keep on fighting  i can relate Maria's experience to mine 

I got hit by tsunami …

bucket list !!

Hello uols

nampak tak tajuk kat atas??  yep, today terasa nak tulis my bucket list je  actually iols ada berjuta bucket list.  makan tahun kot kalu nak tulis semua.. mmg masak  so iols limikan sampai 5 je  ni mmg priority la
before uols baca jauh2, sila sucikan minda uols eh sebab bucket list iols maybe agak ke-18-sx skit  hahaha

so, here we goooo
1. Bag Pack tour to everywhere
Actually dah lama berzaman plan. Dah almost dapat pun opportunity tu. Tapi disebabkan masalah2 technical yang memang tak dapat nak elak, terpaksa la korbankan niat nak bag pack ni.. So kali ni , iols kena keja berhabis untuk capai matlamat ni  huhu.. no more shoe shopping T__T  and to make this more interesting, i really want to do duo bag pack trip  yeah, its now bit tricky sebab kena kumpul duit & cari partner nak teman iols pastu berangan nak amik gambar kissing kat Eiffel Tower   hahah  good luck shakira ! 

2. To watch Sunrise & Sunset at the beach with love one 
Romantic tak iols ...(-____-) Ive bee…


hello uols !! mesti korang dah notice yang iols duk semangat mengupload si gadis gebus, vanilla kat pesbuk & Ig iols ...
mana mana team terung, jangan cepat terpedaya hokey, iols xde jual ayam gebus disini...  vanilla itu hanyalah seekor rabbit malang yang dijumpai decelah2 semak samun oleh hero malaya yang helok 
back to Vanilla.  Kawan iols jumpa dia tengah mengesot2 di celah celah semak samun.  disebaban naluri kehaiwanan ( cintakan haiwan) beliau, dia memutuskan untuk mengambil rabbit tersebut dan cuba untuk menjaganya... namun begitu, beliau hidup bersama kucing gemok yang diberi nama Bobo. Memikirkan kemngkinan besar rabbit malang tersebut dibaham Bobo, dia memutuskan untuk mengamanahkan rabbit tersebut kepada iols since i already have a rabbit kat rumah... katenyeeee.
begitulah sedikit sebanyak history rabbit malang itu. 
So, i decided to take care of the rabbit & bagi dia nama Vanilla sebab bulu dia putih gebu bak ais krim vanilla  so macam ngam sangat ngan Oreo yang …


Life is like a box of chocolate  Full of surprise Filled with flavors  Bitter or sweet, its not you to decide 
so does our life  there are times where we are on top of the world  and there are times we are deep below 
I wont lie to you  Im just a normal human being and so far life has been giving me surprises on a daily basis 
sometimes I wonder  what should I do ?  which way should I choose?  why me?!
but i like chocolate so much  as much i love my life 
bitter or sweet  it doesn't matter just let the chocolate melt in your mouth  and savor the flavor 

Chocolate Lover,  *Shakira* 

re: answer

This is the answer for the previous post  ( Answer  ) 
What ever it is, it was a one sided thing.  I was too stupid to realize it from beginning
dont worry,  I'll be ok I might got confuse just like you said 
knowing that you are a great friend  I'll keep our friendship until forever :) 
Thank you buddy for being there when i wasn't myself  Thank you for patting my head whenever i feel sad  Thank you for making me feel OK whenever im not OK  Thank you for letting me to be part of your life 
Hoping you'll find the one and will never forget me 
Worry not,  I'll move on...  but im still your friend as long as you want me to.....

take care for now , JonSnow 

Just me  Shakira Sulong


hello readers ... 
its was a looong 4 days weekend !! and i already feel bored on the 2nd day. Ive been planning to do lot of stuff since last week, but it seem all my plans dah kelaut.... 
This entry kinda disturbing for some people. I cant stop you from judging me , hate me or just simply love me :) 
im currently listening to Sam Smith, stay with me & i feel kinda jiwang right now. 
sekali dengar to his song, cm giler romantic mamat nih... but actually its all about 1 night stand-stuff 
"this ain't love, its clear to see but darling please stay with me"
the question is, will you spend a night with someone random ( read : stranger ) and fall in love so deep and want that person to stay forever by your side ?? 
maybe for Sam Smith, its a love at the first sex ( read : sight).  -______-
worry not, we are not going to discuss about the " S" word :) 
i had a conversation with a friend of mine quite a while ago.  we talked about the unconditional love
what i…

new chapter

It has been a year since he choose his own path. From the very 1st day i knew about his "game" i tried my best to win him... but at the end of the day, ive giving up trying to safe the most precious thing in my life, my marriage. Demi Allah, i love him with all my blood in my veins but i believe Allah has a better plan for me.

Yes, im heartbroken. Yes, i cried for days ( months )... but every beginning will have an end
Maybe its not an "end" im hoping for our relationship, but who am i to argue to the Mighty Power Above??

Months has passed, i am a different person now ( I hope in a good way J )
i started to meet new people, do new stuff, learn new skills .... i feel my self growing... hopefully to become a better me.

Along the way, there were ups & downs ... and im lucky enough to have few supportive friends that never once giving up on me.
and somehow, i can feel myself open up to people around me.

I dont know if im ready to allow a someone special to enter my…