Shakira's Deepest Secrets

  well well well here I am today. Writing about Tinder  wait, to those yang still jakun pasal tinder, Lemme explain  Tinder is an App to meet people.  when you see people you like ( or rasa2 ngam je) swipe to the right (like) da kalau both party swipe to the right  ITS A MATCH  then korang boleh la start bersembang like tomorrow never end   gittew la tinder minder ni.  yes, yes,  i know, you all will say  "only desperate people will be on Tinder"  im partly agree with your opinion  because I was desperate too at one time. desperate to look for a new friend and who knows things will develop into something unimaginable  i was really optimistic about this tinder thingy.  for me, if im sincere people will be sincere to me too.  well, i was almost wrong (emphasis : Almost)  em, i met few reasonably good people and some are just want to take advantage on peop...

Selamat pagi uols ...  Semalam I had a conversation with a friend pasal perempuan merokok ....  No matter how hot the girl is, he will turned off once she lit a cigarette ...  As if all the good things in that girl gone, just because she is a smoker...  Em...  At first I thought it's another gender bias "discussion". As usual, I'll back up la kaum sejenis (even im not a smoker pun). I asked him, why men smoke and still consider as a good person, while when a  girl smoke, automatically she is bad, ?! Maybe when you look at the girl smoking, first thing that comes in your mind is : perempuan liar ni...  For me it's not fair to judge a person based on the exterior.  I met few acquaintances who happen to be a smoker (pompuan) and they are very decent people. They smoke for the same reason as why men smoke... Sebab nak release stress.. They are not perempuan liar yang duk clubbing all the time . They are professional people.  Kalu tengok kat negar...

Introvert : Contrary to what most people think, an introvert is not simply a person who is shy. Basically, an introvert is a person who is energized by being alone and whose energy is drained by being around other people. and yes, im an introvert person. I may seem quite a chatty person.... but actually i am not. Most of my words are stuck in my thought and never come out. But, when Im getting excited or too nervous i can continue to speak (non stop) using my gibberish language . Real messy sentence with the choices of weird words. So, for those who just getting to know me, I hope i didnt make you think im having some sort of language difficulties.... Im totally understand what you are saying, you dont have to speak to me in slow mo like im a retard bitch.. (-_____-) Tell you what, Im not open myself to many people. So, if im being open with you, means you are special to me. understand? Im a listener.... People may find me boring because I'll be in the room with the crowds ...

I think I've spending too much time on romantic novels and pleasing people for the past few years .(-___-)  And now when the people leave me, I have nothing else to do... Kosong kosong kosong... That is why I'm keeping myself busy with workouts & classes... But somehow, I'll still be lonely especially on weekends 😓  (Orang lain dating ngan bf/gf, iols Dating ngan kain baju je, paling gempak pun dengan katil ~~ loser!!) but yeah....,Im not the-hang-out-at-the-mall-kinda-girl. I would prefer to be at the park or being a slug at home ..so, im ok with it.... unless if someone ask me out... But I guess that someone is still far far away from me .... Huuuuu...... Emm... I rest my case (~_____~)  Pfftt  Kembali ke topik asal.  Im always fascinated by the experts playing online game (especially DotA)  and , I am actually reading FF walktrough like im reading some sort of "erotic" novel...haha...Ok, weirdo I tried strategy game be...

Please beware of penggunaan bahasa ganu yang extreme.... thanks :)  Sebab tadi tetiba rasa nak throw back!! tambah pulek si Nobita text iols... maigod.... rasa cam nak pack bag... balik kapong terus.... besenye kalu dulu dulu otak berserabut memang iols melepak kat tepian pantai.... normally, bespren iols memang wajib ikut hokey... teman maki... teman gelak... teman pow beli keppok... teman amik gambo....teman plekong slipa... tapi paling penting dia la driver sejati abadi.... barape kali la jantung nak cabbut sebab dia wat drift (-__-) dulu pun dia hok ngajo bawok kete.... pastu ajo wat drift... haih... ilmu sesat mung ni pis!! apa kan daya, pakai auto... memang ilmu mu sia sia la pis... hahahaha iols dok tau la kenape tapi apis la satu satu kawan yang tahu hampir semua rahsia iols. Sangat senang nk curah ke dia... pastu dia duk tadoh (tadah) je telinga dia... now im wondering, dulu dia dengo ke dok?? ke wat wat (buat buat) dengo je.... tapi otok tah kelain .... hahah...

My only intention is to find new friends...  Someone I can hangout with...  Someone I can share my humor..  Someone I can share my biggest secrets..  I met few along the way...  And also a special someone...  But somehow, I feel things happening too fast & I couldn't digest it properly...  Things become little bit complicated as im desperately wanting someone to fill in my emptiness. Im letting myself to fall into the "pit" and now I'm having sort of trouble to come out of it..  The "past" still lingering around ... Giving me hard time for me to move on...  How I wish I could run as fast as I could.. So that no one could get hold of my heart....  I want to hide im the deep forest... So that no one will ever find me...  I know the fact that im too fragile...  Too broken  Too hoping for some sort of miracle. But i want to be hold... I want to be found.. Shakira sulong .... 

Selesai berjemaah tadi,  Hati Aku terdetik....  Betapa Aku rindu berjemaah bersama...  Selepas sekian lama, Aku berdiri di belakang insan yang teramat Aku kagum, insan yang kuat menjadi khalifah membimbing Kami makmun yang banyak  terpesong....  Setiap takbir, setiap ruku' , setiap sujud... Aku ikut lemah... Tiap tutur bacaan, hatiku bergetar hebat... Rasa sesak dengan sebak....  Aku terang terang bukan anak solehah... Pernah jauh terpesong, malah masih berkayuh membetul langkah. Masih juga terpatah gayung...  Khalifah itu, tak pernah jemu.... Mengajak... Cara kasar, cara lembut...  Aku pemberontak....  Aku menolak yang hak.. Mencari yang batil...  Aku masih banyak lopong lopong di dada... Khalifah itu, masih tak putus doanya... Allah maha hebat, dibuka hati Aku yang asalnya terkatup rapat... Diberi ruang untuk Aku tersedar....  Namun, selebihnya bergantung pada Aku...  Kuat lemah semua atas bahu Aku Aku kagum dengan khalifah i...

Im suck at giving present. sebenarnye aku duk jenuh fikir nak bagi hadiah apa untuk Izzati. Besday dia in 2 days & being a ignorant aunty, aku lupa nak pikir awal awal. Actually, since she is so into this loomband thingy, aku da chop nak beli satu set mega untuk dia... tapi, mami da beli dulu la pulop!! aaaaahhhh..... Menyesal bagitau mami, patutnye buat diam diam je aritu... tup tup mami bagitau ... da siap beli & balut... Tensen!!  (-__-) so, sekarang duk mengushar.... and suddenly i found these : untuk sesiapa yang kuat kentut grow your own boyfriend And i love to eat marshmallow (-__________-) Hahaha... revenge !! kah kah kah (gelak setan) ... ok, its not funny ok, da tersimpang jauh dari pressie for 8 years old girl .... ni da masuk page "pressie for women".. hahahaha.... rambang mata la tengok online... and memang dah tak sempat nak beli pun. aaaa.... kena g shopping mall jugak esok.... ya Ampun...

Traffic Jem scenarios:  1. Semua orang nak potong tepi  2. Semua orang tak bagi potong  3. Semua orang drive rapat rapat  4. Semua orang muka stress  Where is the courtesy ???  Habuk pun tadak...  Semua orang jadi selfish  Semua orang nak cepat  Cuba bayangkan :  Semua orang Duk dalam lane masing masing Semua orang bagi signal bila nak masuk  Senua orang bagi jalan bila orang lain nak masuk ... Bukan rugi pun bagi satu or dua kete masuk depan ....  Emmm.... Aku tau Je semua orang da lambat ... Semua orang rushing ... Aku pun sama...  Tapi that's doesn't mean korang Kena jadi kurang ajar. Tak perlu la nk tunjuk samseng kucing ...  Semua orang ada tempat dituju Apa salahnya Kalu ikut sahaja aturan diberi ?  Tak perlu terlompat lompat nak potong agar dapat kedepan... BuKan jauh beza pun... Masih Je Aku nampak kelibat Kereta kamu.  Kita semua sudahlah bersesak, tambah pula kamu yang sombong ... Bertambahlah kusu...

Dear fellow friends, i would like to apologize for some negative / emotionally posts  for the past few days ( or even in next few days) im currently in a really "shaking" state. if you really feel that im such a nuisance, such a cry baby or worth nothing for you. please steer away from me. lost after lost.... its like  a never ending repetition. First, i lost the man I dearly love... im still struggling to get over him. the loneliness i feel every night.. i wonder if someone could fill in the emptiness. I dont know if that someone would love me for who i am. im too fragile . im to broken. can someone come and fix me? iam desperately hoping that you could be the one. but im sorry if you dont feel the same . just be honest with me. leave if you feel im too much drama to you life. i would (i hope) cope with another lost ( i guess) then , my sister miscarriage... this is very disturbing as i know so much how it feel to lose something you expecting so much. Me & my s...

expectation  is  the  mother  of  heart breaks  why i keep on doing this to myself?  why?  didnt i deserve to feel happy ?? loved??  what is wrong by being honest?? Im not questioning Allah's plan. I am not but sometimes, i feel disappointed and feel like wanna give up i wanna give up  on people that keep hurting me  i wanna give up hoping things will be ok  i wanna give up on love... trust... and everything "magical"  you are not real... your feeling towards me are not real...  you are just my stupid expectation that will never be a reality  i dont hate you..l i just hate myself so bad !!  so, im taking a step back.  i'll rise up the "wall" again. so that you couldnt see me ... and you cant hurt me anymore  today is not the day im feeling great about myself  Shakira  ...

hello  sorry la tittle da macam amazing spiderman pulop... but seriously peeps, when was the last time you feel great about yourself??  Kalu ada sesape puji aku, pada dasarnye, reaction aku "aww... thanks " and senyum melebar, pastu buat buat pandang tempat lain ~~ ( -.-) ~~  PADAHAL, waktu tu, sebenarnye  semua lubang da kembang kempis secara automatic  (-..-) (-..-) Bila da balik rumah,  duduk hadap dinding and pikir, celah mana amazing aku?  ke saje je propaganda manusia??  honestly, im just a plain Shakira  Selalu je buat benda mengarut  selalu tetiba awkward tak bertempat  selalu tetiba hilang point nak cakap apa and end up cakap benda jumping jumping   (-____-") Nak jadi cerita, someone tanya aku : " tell me, how amazing you are Shakira"   dah !, stone aku nak menjawab.  honestly, that moment aku memang panas giler babeng  aku cam xde jawapan lan...