jaga hati

Hello readers...

Its has been awhile since my last post. I have list of drafts waiting to be published, but i feel most of it way too provocative ... maybe the time is not right... or I maybe i just want to jaga hati  some people.

Speaking of  jaga hati , I still remember years ago, when I told my parents that im going to marry a Chinese, they freak out & for some reasons they took me to see an ustaz ( honestly i still dont fully understand the reason until today- to soften my stubborn head , perhaps ). At that point of time, im expecting him to say "you are  a sinner, need to bertaubat  & bla bla bla...." but he whom never met me before , look me into the eyes and told me that I have a very soft heart & easily feel kesian for others. He told me that this could be my ultimate weakness & also can be my greatest strength.
Well being a softhearted person, im very vulnerable.
From the outside, I portray a strong-dont-give-a-damn-kind-of-girl. but deep inside im actually a Jelly.Always a jelly  T___T
I always find myself in situation where I have to say YES just because I don't want to make others feel upset or disappointed which means I have to bear the disappointment myself.
There was numerous times where I'll regret right away after I say YES & vow to myself to be firm next time but somehow, Im still failing to do so until today.

But I think its not a bad thing at all. What do you think??

My ultimate happiness is to see my loved ones smile & I'll do anything to make them smile.

that normal ordinary person
~ Shakira Sulong


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