just words

Hello Readers, 

 

This is a translated version of my previous entry : sekadar kata kata 

please correct me if my grammar errors are too obvious   ^__^

im in the process of learning to be a better me (in every aspect of my life) 

so, 

Happy reading 

for the past few days (accurately hours) i was blatantly attacked by people i cared just because i post up a selfie with a puppy in FB. 

ah not gonna talk about that... Im not affected by it just little sad because some people are easily provoked for no definite reason . Well, nobody is perfect right... 

Maybe whatever she wrote was driven by emotions.. let it be

at least she let go what bothering her head. its a good thing to let go your feelings 

The rest, let her deal with Allah 

Im not mad at her as i believe everyone has a their own opinion about something 

quote from someone : 

"you are 100% responsible for whatever you did or said" 

 So obviously i'll take 100% responsibility & i'll take their opinion as an advise or motivation for me to be a better person 

 

I know they love me 

I know for whatever nasty stuff they said about me just because they care about me 

thank you for that but no thanks 

 

If you really love me, this is not the way to express it 

she is my sister, she is my family, she is part of my my life , part of me 

but this is not the first time you did this to me 

 

it is very common when a Malay did something not so Malay 

the "common" malays will be provoked 

all the nasty stuff will be thrown towards you ( in this case, towards me) 

they will easily use the "family-sisterhood-stuff" 

do-this-or-we-are-not-sister-anymore stuff  (-__-)

 

let me tell you what happen few years back (the very first incident) 

When Harris  (my hubby & he is a Chinese)  was introduced to my family

They are treat me as if i did something worst than killing a man 

for them, it is humiliating to see a Malay befriended with a chinese

MasyaAllah,

this is what happen when they confused with race and religion 

they somehow proud to be a Malay than a Muslim 

but, i have forgive them all. 

Things happen & i understand why they reacting that way 

and when my marriage comes to the end, 

i know they are celebrating it.

maybe in their head 

"told you but you wouldnt listen" 

but honestly, 

this breaking-up stuff can happen to anyone regardless what race, religion 

Allah has a better plan for us all..

Back to present 

still the same stuff 

I did something uncommon for malay community

by touching a dog -__- 

so they start debating my action the moral part of.. how im not being a good malay 

bla bla bla ...

i dont really care what they said but it is really sad to see how little knowledge about Islam they have

how little they know about Islam

I admit that im not a knowledgeable person in Islam too

i have a very little experience compare to them (age wise) 

definitely i am younger than them. so my thoughts & opinions are "useless" 

i was labeled as "urban-malay" 

so, ask yourself if there is such thing as "urban-malay" i wont be surprised if "orthodox-malay" existed 

 

each and every event happened to me makes me who i am today

wiser (insyaAllah) 

Im blessed to have multiracial friends from all over the world. 

we connected through FB, Instagram and heart :)

 because of them i develop the curiosity to learn more about myself. about my religion. about Islam

 

im far from good 

im still in learning curve

so much more to learn. 

still struggle to learn 

 

I have no power to control their opinion 

i cant force them to accept me for who i am 

if they feel i am useless and just want to throw me away from their life 

thats is their choice 

Im just little hurt when my own sister is the person that never stop judging me 

the strongest person of all !!

i know whatever comes out from her were driven by emotions & anger 

 but things has been said 

damage has been done

quote from a friend of mine 

"we can choose who we want to be friend with,  but you cant choose your family" 

family suppose to be much more than that. 

 

not a second my heart feel mad at her, let alone hate 

no hatred at all 

until my last breath, she is still my sister 

but, if she choose not to be my sister anymore

what can i do?? 

i cant force her right?? 

i still have life to look after 

life must go on 

 

Allah has planned this long before i was born 

& Allah planned beautifully 

somehow, the truth will prevail :) 

 

now, 

let them bark to the world world how bad i am 

how un-Malay i am 

(like i care) 

 

i have no intention to talk bad about her 

She is a nice person 

She is my blood-sister 

but maybe her opinion is different than mine 

i never judge her actions 

and yet she is judging mine 

 

so, 

i learn from mistakes 

take the good value

learn more

meet new people 

learn new things 

As the world we living now require us to GROW 

 

She may say that im a ego person 

or stupid or crazy or bla bla bla 

keep on babeh, 

that would be my fuel to learn more :) 

 

room for forgiveness is infinity 

im type of person that will never ever hold a grudge 

I'll easily forgive people (even they didnt ask for it) 

i forgive each and every humiliation she throw at me.. 

after all, she is my sister :)  

 

Just sharing my thoughts 

Shakira Sulong