Harris Ng

hello readers 

both loud & quiet readers (and also stalkers)

"WHY" 

that would be your first question in your mind right?

Well, there so many things going on recently with the "dog" issue & stuff and somehow, this person kinda blame on Harris because of what i did. 

Like "seriously people" 

Beside of the dog-picture-stuff i really want you all to know how Awesome Harris is. (Well, not the part he left me for another girl obviously)

The positive side of him 

Actually, i wanted to write about him few days back, but because of the madness i kinda postpone it a little bit.. 

So, here we are... 

Talking about Harris, the man who broke my heart 

As some of you may know that our very first date was on 31 december 2009 & i was 22 years old that time... (God, im so young) 

Im kinda like him because he was bold enough to ask my number from my colleague and ask me out on the new year eve. 

So, basically our story start from there. 

Day by day i realise that he is the kind of guy that i want to spend rest of mylife with. 

I love talking to him as he would listen to me. 

I love to make silly jokes and he would laugh until hes out of breath

I love to spill all my problem as he would try his best to comfort me 

He got the quality of a good man, good husband and a good father

I wasn't an exercise junkie before 

I love junk food & stuff 

But when i met him. He kinda change  my view of being healthy 

Being skinny with high cholesterol level is not a good thing at all... 

Skinny with no bum-bum, no curve is not sexy... 

Well, being an exercise junkie himself, i kinda addicted to his lifestyle... His healthy food, his gym routine, his tennis addiction 

He taught me how to set a goal in life

How to be consistent in life    

How to talk to people 

How to make new friends 

How to start a conversation 

How to cook -__- 

How to be myself 

I feel so good when im with him 

He kinda complete me 

And yes, sometimes we complete each other sentence (sweet kan) 

I know his favorite food 

I know his favorite sport brand 

I know how fussy he is with his baju 

I know how he love to match his jeans with his shoe or shirt & his belt.

I know how much he hate something un-organize 

I know how much he hate judgmental people   

I know how much he care about me

I know he know how happy i was with him 

😊

Yes, 

Our love story is kinda complicated 

 me & harris "finally break up" after 5 years being a happy couple 

Honestly, not a single day i feel regret to fall in love with him . 

Almost 0 fight, just pure happiness for 5 solid years 

  

Call me crazy but

We are still in a very good term. 

(After all the tears & pain) 

Because he is the only person that understand me in & out.

Apparently im the only person he can share all his feelings, his thoughts and basically im the only one understand him.  

He would tell me that hes going out with her. (Yeah, sometimes it is pain in the ass) but knowing him, i would understand why hes telling me all sort of stuff. 

And im ok with it 

As i'll do the same when im going out with some random guy, 

Its not that we are ok with this stuff, it is more like because we understand each other 

(I know it make no sense here) 

But that what we agree with. Because i know if i didnt tell him & he sort of find out, that gonna be another hell-break-story.

Better be safe than sorry aite.. -___- 

 (Well, it happen multiple time, so not gonna go through that part again) 

We were so much in love until the 3rd wheel somehow come out from nowhere.. 

Even that, he still treat me good, 

Btw, from the first time he asked me out until today, we never had a huge fight.

Im glad that during our period of being a husband & wife im able to give all my love to him. 

Be there for him 

Comfort him whenever he got any issue with her 

Trying my best to understand him 

Trying all my best to stay strong & hide all my tears from him

So that he will be worry-less

 I know it was hard for him to make any decision. 

But somehow i realized that there is no point forcing things that doesnt belong 

So, i decided to let go 

The divorce stuff was from me. Not him 

So stop blaming him OK

i know deep inside he doesnt want this (as much as i dont want it to happen too) 

But somehow, i cant let him suffer 

I just cant see his frowning face 

I know hes been thinking a lot

I know he is still thinking now 

But i think it is better not to influence him 

Let him ask himself & decide 

 i know that he is spending most of his time with her since our separation. 

There is nothing i can do about that 

I know how much he was influenced by her 

Again, 

there is nothing i can do about that 

I can only pray to Allah for the best solution 

There is one thing i learn from what happen to me 

"If he meant for you, no matter how hard it is, he will be yours. If he is not belong to you, no matter how easy it is, he will slip away"

Until today he is still treating me good, nah... Awesome !! 

We still talking for hours over a coffee (hot chocolate for me) session

And of course he'll on-off texting her which im "almost adapt" to it (slight pain but im ok)  

So, im totally OK with it

OK means im accepting it 

Not wholeheartedly (im not a saint) but yeah i'll try my best to understand his situation  

So please stop calling him bad guy 

Or bad friend Or bad brother or bad son 

As we all know him very well 

He is the nicest person i ever met 

Treat him him well as he never fail to take good care of me 

If he ask me to get back together again, i might say yes (with conditions of course )

If not, he will stay as my best friend forever 

I know him very well and likewise 

Each and every human has thousand weakness and flaws 

I have mine, he got his

As long as we could learn to accept it, 

It would be easy to understand life 

Things happen for 1001 reasons & most of it for a better reason

To "spank" us back to reality 

To make us a better person 

To make us realize that Allah has a greatest power of all... 

Who we are to argue? 

Not that i didn't do anything to save it

But somehow, 

No matter how much I did, 

Things just fall apart 

Not because im lack of efforts but just because Allah has a better plan for me

InsyaAllah 

So, 

Can you understand me better now? 

Can you understand how beautiful our relationship is? 

Can you understand that being happy doesnt mean you'll need to be together 

  Can you understand why we still in need of each other? 

Can you understand why i cant hate him? 

Because he is the man that taught me so much about life (apart of my parents)

He is the man that bring out the best in me 

He is the man that always has a soft spot in my heart. 

Im moving on 

Hes moving on too (obviously) 

We are had good times together before 

And i will hold on to the good memories 

Im not gonna let people influence how i feel towards him 

Even if i finally found a new love,  

I'll make sure my future love understand our love-hate relationship 

I hope he will do the same 

Because its a shame to lose someone as good as him 

So

I hope you'll have a better picture of what is going on here 

I always hold on to this words 

"Why hate if love can melt the hardest heart" 

Like i said

"There are too many good memories between us, so it is impossible for me to hate you"

Sincerely, 

Shakira sulong  

(2 august 2014)