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i wonder

I wonder I wonder I wonder How life without mistakes I wonder I wonder I wonder How life without regrets I wonder I wonder I wonder How life without hate I wonder I wonder I wonder How life without misery I wonder I wonder I wonder How life without expectation I wonder I wonder I wonder Will I be OK?

farewell 2016 ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم السلام عليكم Year end always mean new beginning for me. I used to celebrate New Year as a beginning of my love story. A story I thought will last forever.  until someone decided to take everything away from me. I never thought that I'll be "kicked out" from my so called "comfort zone" that took me years to built. I was heart broken and become resentful  However, Allah indeed a great planner :)  2015 was the year that my life take turn to a completely different direction. I hurt many hearts in searching the one who can heal my heart. I know I was selfish, I was a fool but I just want to trust someone again. I dont want to live in fear that one day people will cheat on me again and leave me helpless in the dark  When I almost giving up, I met you  I remember telling myself on the first time we met  "Hes too nice for someone sinful & broken like me, perhaps this is the first and the last time we&#

Life is fragile

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بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم السلام عليكم Hello readers, its been awhile since my last post. Well, there is something happened that really struck me & I decided to share with you guys. Early this morning I received a sad news that Kak Nora ( My ex-colleague in Hexamine) has passed away after weeks of "battling with infections". What really struck me was she was fine before until one day she was admitted to Sungai Buluh Hospital due to some pulmonary infections & her condition degrading down fall after that. Doctor did everything to keep the infection at bay, unfortunately her condition getting worst day by day & the infection spread to other parts and shut down her organs one by one ummm Around the world people losing their loved ones due to war, disease , accidents etc etc We can never know what will happen in the next 60secs. Approaching to the "full term" of my pregnancy, makes me feel anxiety about everything around me. I started to th

Journey : Career change

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم السلام عليكم Big hello to my fellow readers ! I wonder if my readers are still available. Cant blame them, Im the lazy one to update my blog. Huh, can't believe how fast the time flies, its already September, approaching October. Just couple of months before 2017 say hello to all of us. My previous post kinda sum up what had happened to my life, the little & the massive changes (in ONLY 5 months) . above all, Im glad i took the path that lead me to what i am today. alriite y'all , lets cut short the intro (which i really suck at it -__- ) As some of you may know, the biggest & the most challenging decision I have made was to quit my stable job ( that pay quite well ) and becoming a full time housewife. yeah, a career change indeed (>__<). Trust me babe, that was not an easy decision. I know most of the working lady/mom out there would love to take up my current job : a housewife. However, there also some people back hom

comeback !

Hello 2016 !! I know , I know im 2 months late... hahaha Soooooo many things happened since my last post about LGBT   .... That was July 2015 and today is almost end of Feb 2016. Well, the most obvious thing happened was IM MARRIED to a total stranger. Alhamdulillah ( Praise to Allah) who arrange our meeting until our somenization & InsyaAllah this LOVE will stay forever till Jannah... Aminnn Dont worry, I'll write up little bit bout Fadd in separate post. Well, the boulder rolling fast since i met Fadd  ('-__-) ... really really fast. Here the "trajectory" of what happened in 5 months - ( justification to my MIA )  ..lol ~ KAWIN ~  After some discussion between our family, we decided to get married. sound simple je kan.  BUT can you imagine to do all the preparation within a month  from Zero to a wedding only in a month.  The best part was, Fadd is outstation to a place where internet connection is macam haram  Im lucky to have a craz

LGBT : The Rainbows :)

first and foremost, you need to understand that  Im not a homosexual !  Whatever written here is solely how i feel about homosexual as a person  I am not trying to brainwash you guys or trying to imply anything here  As much as i know how sensitive this issue to our community (especially to Malay) , I still feel that you all need to at least try to understand what make them who they are.  I also aware that Islam disapprove homosexual. but for few minutes, just try to see this issue as a human  and remember, only Allah / God can judge us & decide if we are a sinner or not  so please, for a moment read this with an open heart  ****** As some of you may notice, FB was flooded with rainbows color for the past few weeks.  For some reasons, people start talking about LGBT, human rights, god wrath and bla bla ...  before I go any further,  LBGT is an initialism that stand for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual & Transgender  and  the rainbow flag  represent

jaga hati

Hello readers... Its has been awhile since my last post. I have list of drafts waiting to be published, but i feel most of it way too provocative ... maybe the time is not right... or I maybe i just want to jaga hati  some people. Speaking of  jaga hati , I still remember years ago, when I told my parents that im going to marry a Chinese, they freak out & for some reasons they took me to see an ustaz ( honestly i still dont fully understand the reason until today- to soften my stubborn head , perhaps ). At that point of time, im expecting him to say "you are  a sinner, need to bertaubat  & bla bla bla...." but he whom never met me before , look me into the eyes and told me that I have a very soft heart & easily feel kesian for others. He told me that this could be my ultimate weakness & also can be my greatest strength.   Well being a softhearted person, im very vulnerable. From the outside, I portray a strong-dont-give-a-damn-kind-of-girl. but deep in